Supporting your child on results day: A parent's guide to navigating the emotional rollercoaster

Secure your life jacket first to ensure you can be as calm, focused, and helpful as possible. Your child will take emotional cues from you, so try these approaches to reduce anxiety: 

• Acknowledge your feelings: It's entirely normal to feel nervous, hopeful, or worried. But ensure you give yourself time to process these emotions before they spill out on results day.  
• Identify any biases: Is your child’s subject choice motivated by your dreams or theirs? I think as parents it’s impossible to extricate entirely, but just be keenly aware of your own biases at this time.  
• Reframe your thinking: Remember that exam results represent one moment in time, not your child's entire future. 
• Have your own support system: Identify someone you can text or call if you need it. Whether it’s a morning walk or mindfulness exercises, find what helps you stay centred. 
• Remember the facts: 70,000 students went through Clearing in 2024, 33% of which were students who did better than expected or simply changed their mind.

Ultimately, your self-care is vital in helping your child ride the emotional rollercoaster. 

The key to managing this period is preparation. Remember to follow these 3 Rs: 

1. Reflect. After their exams, help your child reflect on how the assessments went and what sort of results they might be expecting. Discuss how they feel about their current course and institution preferences and whether they’d like to review other options. 
2. Research. Using the UCAS course ‘availability’ filter, work with your child to see what courses are available at which university or college. Use the UCAS tariff toggle and talk to institutions about the possible flexibility of the entry requirements come results day. Then, read up about the courses on each department website, speak to current undergraduates (via Unibuddy) or indeed visit. Essentially, help your child use the summer to establish what courses and providers are the best fit for them. 
3. Review. Help your child distil all the possibilities down to a few targeted options, with Clearing telephone numbers readily available. Also, ensure your child’s UCAS ID and GCSE results are to hand.  

The more time and thought you encourage your child to put into the experience, the more likely it will be positive, beneficial, and even exciting.  

Your child may experience intense emotions during this time, or they might not. But if there are any instances, here's how to help: 

• Be vigilant:  While your teenager might appear to be doing a whole lot of nothing, their mind is likely racing. Trust your parental instinct—you know better than anyone how your child processes stress, so watch for those small changes in behaviour that signal they might need extra support. 
• Create space: Let them express disappointment, excitement, or confusion without immediately jumping to solutions. Instead, book them in for a strategy meeting at a time and place they choose.  
• Validate their feelings: Simple statements like "I understand" and “That sounds tough” can be powerful. Or, indeed a classic winner: “What's the most helpful thing I can do for you right now?” 
• Remind them of their worth: Emphasise that their value isn't determined by grades. 
• Focus on action: Keep things practical by researching and creating a list of alternatives together if things don’t work out.   
• Give them agency: While you can offer guidance and help support their research, let the final decisions be theirs. If you’ve scribbled down their pros and cons, let them come up with the conclusions.  

How we talk about disappointing results shapes how our children process them.

Did you know that Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb was kicked out of school for not being deemed ‘clever’? Yet, he never knew. Edison’s mother reframed this, telling her son that he was in fact too clever for their school. What could have been a life defining negative experience, was reframed to be a positive one. 

You can do the same for your child now. 

• Watch your language: Ban the word ‘fail’ and repeat the mantra, ‘not right now’. 
• Highlight famous late bloomers: Remind them of successful people who faced early setbacks. My favourite is Steven Spielberg who was rejected three times from film school, before receiving an honorary degree after becoming a famous director. Even sharing stories of your own redirections can be powerful. 
• Focus on effort, not outcome: Acknowledge their hard work, regardless of results. 
• See it as a chance to reassess: The silver lining of Clearing is to find an even better and more suitable course. 
• Emphasise adaptability: In today's rapidly changing world, being able to pivot is a valuable skill and thus results day is a life lesson in disguise. 
• Celebrate their resilience: Acknowledge their strength in facing uncertainty. 

I honestly believe the most important lesson we as parents can teach our children isn't how to succeed every time, but how to handle the times when they don't. By modelling calm resilience and unconditional support, you're giving them tools far more valuable than any exam result. The path to success is rarely straight and often the best journeys involve unexpected detours. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.